Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Well... happy to get my pc reloaded.. finally with decent trusted Software... But guess again.. GOT SPYware embedded my Internet explorer... WTF.. In the end need to reinstall again. This will be my 4th time in 4 days. Since Sunday nite. I cannot take it already.
Today morning got up with rashes on my chest. Think might be sensitive or just the weather. Sudden change from cool to heaty environment. (Genting trip was so COOL... 17.7 degree). Anyway applied for halfday go home figure pc and do some spring cleaning as well. Chinese New Year is less than 2 weeks time and nothing is done yet. Will get screwed upside down. Time is against me now. This weekend going up to Malacca for a short trip with my bike group. Hope it'll be fun. Er most importantly Inexpensive. If not i will not have the $$ to got to Europe to meet meet up my old flame (whom I missed so dearly) as well as my old buddy in UK.
Bottom line... PC must be up in shortest time available. Hope will not waste my Half day leave today..... cos i BEH TAHAN(cannot take it) already. 4 times reloading WIN XP. its like I am doing installation ... without charges..... WTF!!!
|| 11:11 AM
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005
What a day... or 3 days..... Everysince i come back from my Genting Trip my pc was a bit "kuku". To end the agony, I reformat my whole C drive. The problem is my old XP installation CD cannot boot properly. Got a cd from my friend that comes with Service Pack 2 built in .... Woot cool.. I thought. At last loading everything almost to what it was. Suddenly it prompt me for login pass word - - - - - which I did not set any at all from start of installation. WTF
Since its a fresh installation, I decided to reformat AGAIN! wasting my almost 1 whole day precious time. God have mercy. Next day Reloadin took place after my work. Yes! Its up and running again. I was so relieve. Got online and chat with my friends in MSN and ICQ. Just reconfigured my OUTLOOK. Got a couple of kinky mails. There is 1 showing very interesting pictures. Rather it was showing a new fashion Statement... Wonder if it will ever be a Fad in Singapore. It shows a Gal in T-shirt. Well it s kinda obvious she's not wearing any bra. Next pic show 2 small cups like those chinese sinseh use to put on your back. There is a small suction device attached to it. The next picture shows how the device works. OMG... It is making the nipple protrude so much.... Guess the last picture....... The same gal in T-shirt with 2 peaks pointing to you!!!! Much of an eyesore i must say. Confirm give any guys around the vinicity an HARDON! ... .kekekek
Ok. Enough of Kinky email. I received my ex's picture from france. NICE! Still as Chio as ever. Well... er.... there is 1 guy there that claim to find my face familiar ( cos she showed him my pic). He was from Airforce. I was from Airforce but never have I seen his Tall Nerd face. To me, its kinda a like a pickup line to a lady that you find physically attracted in the 1st place. LAME! Finally see his face. Ewwww... turns me off. (well not that I'm good looking anyway) Apart from the height. I think I'm slightly better a other ways thought. Not to mention age.... heheheheheh
Other think is tat he is interested in my Ex. (chants in Hokkien= sim shi bo tek gong chut lai... xia lang eh..... zhai) Think my Ex can find some1 100 times better than him.
Think I've diverted too much from my topic. My PC ... yes my PC. I was like a mad man sms-ing all my friends and relatives in hope to search of a "reliable" source of installation CD in hope to get my PC up and working ASAP. Without my pc i feel like being "cut off". Is that a bit too much? HAHAHAHAHAH... Of Course not. Cos not only my PC for downloading of serials, chatting with my LOCAL friends. Most importantly I can chat with my Ex.
p.s. I still love her. Wonder why? Is it just enjoying the feelin of love? or just being a sore loser.
|| 9:44 AM
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Be going to Malaysia Genting Highland for a short break. Hope its gonna be fun. Will update after i come back......hehehehe
|| 7:49 PM
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Monday, January 10, 2005
What do all people feel when things are happening and you cannot do anything about it? Just like those people in Phuket seeing the waves coming and all they do is run.... in hope that they can escape the crushing arms of destruction? Recently, had similiar... well not exactly like them but in a way, not far from them either kinda feeling. Seeing and knowing what is happening. Trying to help by hinting, errr, actually telling straight so blankly. In vain. Nil. Rejecting a layup straight in ya face. Being rejected is one thing, being misunderstood is another. Warm friendly advises proves futile againsts chantings from the dark side. Well even vampires needs to be invited into the house in order to attack the people (taken from Lost boys and Fright Nite). I guess when people are into some situation, they tend to get so engross in it that they do not think straight. Especially if they are alone.
Being alone is really shitty. Braving all the difficulties alone. It is really pure courage and faith. Personally I think i can't make it, without God by my side. All I have to do is to let him handle everything. Reason being that I am too lost and clueless without him guiding me. Being lead a planned life during childhood, I kinda get used to things being laid in front of me without me thinking what is the next step. Until my O levels, I had to take the decision to choose whether to go A levels or Poly. Things started to get difficult and hard. Having friends are good. But there are times whereby we long for the Special one to stand beside us, sharing our laughs and woes. That, I think, is almost what we as human breathing on this Earth will have least once that the thought come across our mind. I myself have many occasions. Maybe it is due to peer pressure at times? even a fad? But ultimately we think that it'll be great to have someone hugging and kissing you in times of sorrow as well as joy. Whether choosing the right one is definitely the biggest catch of the whole ball game. For some people, it takes a life time. Some might even not. Some did not even had the chance at all. There are some that cannot accept the lesson of loosing a couple rounds. For most of us, it takes countless ( 2 < ) trials to get the right one eventually. for those who had a fairytale realised, god bless them. cos they were meant to be. there are many things leading to conclusion of situations. some people like facts related or understood through the 5 senses. some people claim they have 6 sense. until now, there is 1 thing that i believe most of us definitely will accept and that is seeing is believing. many a times, 3rd party accounts are shared and only taken as a mere story being told. telling themselves that this will definitely not happen to me!!!!
Erhhhh...... Reality check. THEY DO HAPPEN and before you know it. No pacific emergency warning system can tell you to go run up the hill to hide from Tsunami. It will jus slam right into your face. There is a couple of quote that I come across during different stages of my life.
=""> One man's meat, another man's poison
=> 3rd party sees a better picture ( pan guan zhe qing)
=>Be sure of what you are doing, if not you will find yourself slamming into a wall.
=>Never trust even your own friends when it comes to relationship.
==>Truth HURTs. Especially if you discover it yourself. Its worst then hearing it from a 3rd party. It hurts so much.
Lastly, God is with you wherever you are. If you choose to invite him into your life. Pray that he is Lord over your life and that he will help you in everything you do. Seek and you shall find. Confide in Him whenever you are not sure. Rather than confiding in Mortals. What you need is Pure childlike Faith. Simply speaking. Just Believe!!! thats all.
|| 4:39 PM
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Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Gotcha.... this ain't a thread dedicated to Backstreet Boyz. Its more like truth is always something that we being human do not like to accept. Particularly if its about yourself. Truth often hurts. Wonder why. Most of the time we are being taught that telling the truth and being truthful is the way of life. Recent episode taught me otherwise. I choose to be the way I am and is still the same even though some of the principles I hold so staunchly previously is being proven otherwise. Maybe I am a bit shaken mentally due to the aftermath. Kinda like unable to accept the truth that everything is over.
Maybe I need to visit a Shrink (think its a slang that Americans like to use to call Psychiatrist). Being able to let go is really a blessing. Being able to accept the truth... priceless.... So what is the TRUTH. I will never know. Being lead on, given hope and promises... it is like a child being smoothered and coaxed. So nice. Time and again. Either my E.Q. is so damn "terok" or my interpretation of any means of communication is totally a failure. I think the main problem is Me. For a time so long that even I can't even remember, my way of thinking and deciphering "hidden codes" has been based on my so call intuition. Most of the time, it never failed on me. Other times, i think the rest are based on assumptions. Being educated in tertiary level teach us 1 thing. All assumptions are made to make the sum work..... unless proven otherwise.... Tell you frankly. This system sarks when it comes to life.
Facing problem alone is never easy. If there is someone out there that can hear and comprehend your plight. I think its the best consolation you can get. What you least need is someone to break down your Fort and peel off your flesh layer by layer. The hardest fact to accept is I am classified under the latter category. Wanting to pick myself up to make amendment from previous disaster I've caused was more than just a chore. Rather with much help from HIM "up there" , I thought I changed. Well at least a bit. Maybe its just my "pattern" or the image I portraited so deeply into other people's mind that whatever I said turn out to be lashes that whipped and tore the Flesh of the ONE in The Passion Of Christ. Think it is best that being caged up is the best solution to prevent any hurt and grief to be anyway available to this World. I think at least mentally. If physically, I'll be damned ............... Rather ... sometimes. I find being mute is best. Cos people mostly need listeners, reciprocation thereafter is secondary. Bottom line is a listening ear. Occasion feedback of body language is best combination.
Wonder why I'm so Farked up ..... hahahaha.. cos i am......
|| 9:47 AM
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Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Its been a while since i post again. I am really a super lazy bum. Reading other's blog became more of a hobby rather than writing my own... Muahahahaha....
The day after Xmas. It was kinda like judgement day for some 100,000+++ fellow humans out there. It came and it swept everyone off their feet. From most of the internet pictures or short clips I've seen. Many of them though it was just another BIG WAVE coming... 1 clip from Penang had some of them Some were shouting "Hou Geng ah" which means something like this wave got the Ummmphhh...or Wa Steady Sia ( in singlish) in short its a wave that was unleash upon us puny Humans to remind us how fragile we are. No matter how "advance" our technology is, there are loopholes. I read reports saying that the "Ang Mo" countries detected some activities but claimed that they had no relevant authorities to "WARN". Some of us was thinking that was it cause of Xmas that they think Bah... Its not even our own business, why should we care. ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.
Well remarks like these might be certainly be taken as sacarsm or anguish outburst from those who felt that it should not turn out this way. Anyway I wonder why i have so much to blabble. Well the fact is there were fellow Sporean who perished in this incident. Some of which are Christians. I saw their obituries in the papers. The headings sent a bolt thru my heart - " Left suddenly ". Never have i seen such remarks. It really send me thinking life is so short. Before you know it. Your holidays are for here to stay. PERIOD.
What IDOL, SWAN, Extreme Makeover lar..... all this reality TV. Get this rite. THIS IS REALITY. Right in your face. Looking at the pictures taken by the journalist from a bridge, there were debris from furniture to house and amongst them were parts of bloated corpse. Its really not a pretty sight. THIS IS REALITY. So what if anyone's an idol. The ultimate one is HIM. For He is the past, the present, and forever. My brother shared with me last week. "There is no Superman." It came to me as a strong remark. Cos I never tell him i like watching Smallville - series which tells the story of young superman. Imagine when the waves were coming. What was their 1st or last thought up their mind? God if this is it, please walk with me..... Amen
My brother told me that he originally planned to go Phuket. Maybe reaching on 26 before 9am. He asked God if he can go. God replied can. He asked again he wanted to go, God forbid him. He was confused. How come can and cannot....... end up he abandoned the idea. What came to him was quite a living testimony that GOD is REAL. AMEN.
I had the strong urge to do voluntery work. So much so that i wanna quit my job. Quitting my job is something that has been up my mind for quite sometime. Reason being I'm bored and I don't see much future in what I am doing currently. Under a "terok" management. The thing holding me back is my supervisor. He is too good a supervisor one can get. Most of all, he's my friend as well.
Think I've blabber enough for now... I am writing this in OFFICE.. OMG... super "jialat".... "eating snake" all the way.. I have no moral nor motivation to work. So so so so bored. Will come in again. Stay Tuned my friends
|| 9:08 AM
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